I've Got A What!?

The other day I ordered a spicy taco pizza from pizza hotline and after a few slices I was feeling a tad spiced out. The next day I was still hurting so while holding my belly I felt a sausage type thing above my belly button, pressing on it I was greeted with some excruciating pain. WTF!? So I popped by the walk in clinic and I was bluntly told I had an umbilical hernia; I laughed. “Isn’t that an old man’s disease?” to which I was told it’s actually more common in babies. He asked if I wanted him to book me with the surgeon but I said no, I’ll see my family doctor. The next day at the family doctor he told me the same thing; he even tried to stuff my intestines back in. Let me tell you that was worse than slamming my testicle in a car door! My son asked the doctor if him jumping on me caused it and the look on his face when the doctor said maybe was priceless! Then he said he was just kidding. On the way out I checked with the secretary and was informed I probably won’t see the surgeon for a diagnosis till March! 4 months of pain!?! You’ve got to love the Canadian medical system. – Steve